Ilia, When You Gonna Skate?

Skating for Ilia is something very different from what it is for the rest of the world.

"I'm not paying attention to edges, so why should you?"

Ilia's so damn talented he's already forgotten that the edges are the basics.

Yo Ilia! Phone home!

Ilia has totally forgotten that his edges are what power him across the ice. He is that damn good.

Can the rest of us remember this? I am about to embarrass the poor boy in broad daylight.

I have done such things before, and I would estimate his IQ to be at about 170 to 180.

On his bad days. I would state what I believe his functional IQ to be, except that most people take numbers like that to be in the "circus freak" category. (And no, he's not the one I'm talking about in the Tom Lehrer essay, so get over it. Assholes...always ready to pick...)

If he were not a figure skater, he would probably be a mathematics professor. And one of the damn good ones. Let's be grateful we have him.

I estimate he figured out about edges all by himself at 15 or 16, figured that topic was done with, and went on. Who needs to bother with that again? It is discovered. It is done with. It is fine.

And he keeps going. Developing his "pretty potential," as that is what seems to win him medals. Always focused on the task at hand. Get the medals and I'll be fine.

And since charming the judges has always been more effective than paying attention to his edges, that strategy (and it is a strategy) has worked just fine.

Ilia. Ten to twenty years on in the professional ranks, you will want those edges again.

If you perfect them now and maintain them consistently, you will always have them. If you don't, well then, you won't.

Kind of late to start the math work now.

I think this is getting his attention.

Let's see what happens. I said perfected them, not spat at them once in a while.

Judges will notice.

Some of them really are that smart. The trend has started.

The trend always hits the front-runner skaters first.

And it is too late to give back that gold medal.

QED. Get to work on your edges. Oh, I love doing this!

Smart people get isolated from society easily. We don't want to deal with them. Picking on them is easier than treating them as human beings.

And quit picking on Ilia's costume unless you're me, Surya, or someone who has actually made him laugh about it.

He loves that yellow-and-black concatenation for mysterious reasons of his own and will not part with it. And I believe they have tried. Won't work.

Let us leave him to his own devices. At least he's not about to trip over the pants leg on that one....

Or would cutting through that damn trailey-leg on the ice actually help his edges?

Every once in a while, even you have to come back around to edges.