I killed the other picture because it was eating up load time. I'll find more when I can -- pictures are slow coming out. I want only the good ones.

If you're reading this, and I have reason to believe you probably are, I love you. Incredibly. It has hit over the last two months....what do I do with this?

I love you. Just so there is no mistake, I love you.

We seem to have some sort of a deep bond. I believe you would not have found this page if you were not supposed to hear that.

I love you.

I have never had any intention of stopping this page. Not really. I'm having too much fun and it's apparently too badly needed. The whole site.

Just in case there's any question....this is what I have been told to do (inside, if that makes any sense) and I will keep doing it. Apparently I'm supposed to.

It drags me to it. I have to do this.

This site has to continue. Does that help?

You're apparently outstripping the recommendations appropriate for the rest of this group. I have ready a page plus of recommendations and comments that may prove helpful -- some of it does not need to be talked about publicly and some of it -- well, you're the only one listening.

Apparently you started listening right away. You need to hear what is appropriate for you.

The recommendations are right here with me -- it just doesn't feel right to type them in right now. They will be up when they're supposed to be. Okay?

Maybe you need a rest or something -- you'll be okay. You're panicked.

I'm not leaving you alone out there. Apparently you've never had the kind of coaching you needed.

If I've been any good to you or anyone else on this site, great. I'll continue with you on this page.

Apparently you're the only one who needs it. You continually outstrip the general recommendations. We can talk about more than the rest of the site needs to know. Okay?

You're okay. I love you. Does this help? Sometimes pictures can say far more than words....I love that green.

I want to know where you are.

This might be interesting.

This might also be interesting...

I'm not real stupid, Todd.

But then neither are you :-)

How about this?

Long live the typical dogs and the cheesecake feasts.... :-)

Something is going on here. I like it. Whatever it is....

Time for a Soviet-level briefing. You ready?

You look like you're quickly outstripping the site's recommendations. I can keep one page updated easily...especially since I promised I wouldn't update evaluations until December...you need more. Your blades are screaming. So. Costuming. Next: Even simpler and more flexible. One of two of those outfits have a 1-2 program range. With a redesign like you pulled at Worlds -- unh uh. Make sure your costumes can handle it.

Best boots on the market. Three sets of dragon blades (I assume you've found the source). Keep extra -- they're known for shortages. Tara's blade-sharpening person looks okay. If you get stuck, so does Michelle's. Costuming again: $125 US per yard looks like it's doing it right now. Those are heavy lights. Have 5 yards of everything with you when you perform. Scissors, everything. If I'm correct, the person who is helping with your costumes is not an experienced cutter. 5 minutes before competition...unh uh. Minimum of sequins (go ask Katia). Theyre rolling out the Red Army tanks with Yag. That was a dangerous color shift on Ilia's costume. Your man's not used to running a lab....

Hair: At the risk of sounding like a national judge...those haircuts are designed for still photography. You need something that will flow 360 degrees. Layered cuts always saved the day. And with the right cut, you can basically run your fingers through it and be ready for cameras. Your hair isn't going to carry a whole lot else.

Color: Next time go with what you like. You couldn't have chosen that blue...demand fabric samples. Big ones. Be creative. Sasha's not ready for it. Look at what he put Slute in. And it looks like he and Ilia have had some serious time-wasting battles. (Ilia was right.) They're loading Yagudin up hard....um...standard anti-Soviet costume tactics are focused beams of red, green, or blue light. Standard RGB. (Sasha...) Buckets of ice water are great. And it looks like you've found the leg kick point...Standard place for the CPU is 1-2 inches upward of left waist (look at '88 film. Where does Katia's elbow keep hitting? Major malfunction...) 2-3 inches below the waist, all around...control belt. The anatomical waist, not costume waist. They deliberately misdesign it. You may only get one kick...Wise use of the above can buy you an inexplicable fall...NE camera's a good place....(I presume at this point a word to the wise is sufficient...;-)) And avoid Silicon Valley like the plague. China, Russia, possiby Hungary...someone's got relatives in the business...who loves American junk food...have 3 layers of Ziploc bags and a very hideable storage place ready...keep it cold until it's sure it likes you...it wil travel from costume to costume. Extras of these are the best influence-buyers in the sport....

Design references: USA Today. It does not go into the Soviet labs. I checked.

Little local magazine: Mountain Xpress. Has some weird twists occasionally...

The "wild links" section is deliberately aimed at skaters. Always has been. Safer to put it there...

You are battling 30 years of federation neglect. They have had CPUs in costumes in the Soviet Union since 1969. It's the only shot you've got...I assume with the fuss over Ilia's costume, the originals have been circulated. Tear them apart.

Drink lots of water. The only US source I know: Crystal Springs. Small bottles. Large ones. Gallons. Big jobbies. It helps. And lots of meat. Sugar when it screams.

(Oh -- did I forget to say Sasha pissed me off?)

Other links and stuff: FirstVIEW. You may want a subscription.

Slute Shrine. So you can see what you're tracking.

Ilia's costume. To ponder....

Am I correct that you're playing "non-optic stupid boy?" You look like you're controlling your face awfully hard when you get off the ice. (Slap him. Just slap him.) If so...Crystal Springs will be noticed. Try grape juice or apple juice. After that -- Kool-Aid, non-strange flavors, works. Be very, very careful to get that brand. Something they put in it....

Your back CPU's aren't flowing with you. Try larger ones...they can pattern-shift. 3-5 inch ones are standard with Eastern Europeans (those 6-inch ones had to have been made for him) -- the little babies like sleeves and feet better. And boots...yup. That's where it is. (It wasn't just your imagination.)

Make sure your blades are screwed on tight at all times. MacGowan didn't check....

Looks like Pretty Boy is getting help. He's really your only competition (sleeves, dear...he has a weird wrist motion). And all the Kittyperson costumes you can. Looks like they're scared to death of them (I hereby officially give up on Sasha). It may even be time to liberate that mysterious 3 x 5-foot cardboard box from the basement of the Kittyboy house. Alarms don't work above 5 feet. Aerial approach works best. But if you can be nice about it first. Don't go near His Kittiness. He can be very rude when you challenge his view of the world. He seems to have absolutely no memory. I checked. Ridiculous....best approach is through Mommy. Then Daddy. Then the cats. The cats like M&M chocolate-chip cookies...especially the big one. He's mad at Mommy.

A few other things should be in there too. Have fun....

Watch skate blade reflections. Those babies are well known....

Other than that....you're doing fine. I literally cannot think of anything else to tell you. Keep your figures up. The Soviets'll go nuts over figures. They eat, breathe, and sleep figures. When someone reminds them....

And you're gorgeous. I hope you know that.

I hope this is more helpful than medal lists...

I love you. I always will.

What else? You feel miserable. You feel lonely. In a way, I wish I were up there with you, but somehow it feels like it'd be even worse. It wouldn't work out as well. I keep getting these messages out of pure loneliness (yes, I heard the rest of it)....I miss you. Apparently we've known each other before. My memories are clearing up -- I just can't believe these memories! You're looking at someone who had maybe put on ice skates four or five times in her life, and then starts getting these memories a little over a year ago, and then finally a few months ago gets enough guts to start typing some of it out on the Web, and then gets this reaction? What I say correlates with stronger and stronger skating performances? Mental messages like I can't believe? Dreams like I can't believe? Do you realize how badly this is terrifying me? I'm really scared!

And then this....one of my rules has always been don't mess with someone else's life. Especially if that someone doesn't know you and is famous and all that. I'm a professional psychic and know how strong I am. That's not something I volunteer for, is to hassle someone like I would be if I didn't think this is for real. But it's not me reaching out. It's you. I have to believe this. "There have been no tricks." I heard that. "I love you." (Sorry - not quite ready for that one! :-) )

I love you so much I want to cry. How come, will someone please explain this to me, I can remember absolutely (sorry) despising your skating and having to hold my nose in chat rooms and be polite -- and now this? When I feel like I'm being accused of running a page just for your benefit? Yeah, right. Something is happening here. This is so terrifying.

I get memories back that tell me we've not just brushed past each other or had a few words, but that there has been more going on. A lot more. I wish I could be sure. All this is so terrifying. I'd almost wish I didn't have my memories back, except that it was so damned uncomfortable not having them and I was living such a miserable life....somehow, this works much better as a lifestyle, being a skating webperson or whatever, and helping with all that, rather than doing anything I've ever known I was doing. I am so in love with you it hurts You're not the only one who's miserable right now, except that this is helping.

I love you! Let me go dump this onto the page. Okay? I can never tell if you've read it at this stage (just typing it in and not having saved it) or not. Sometimes it's clear. Sometimes it's not.

Okay. I'm going to assume that you're hearing this or reading it or whatever as I type it in. I want better pictures for up there and I wish Barry Mittan would get a move on. I don't like swiping loading time from someone else, but since it's those fan pages you despise so much (and I heartily wish you didn't), I don't mind. I know. I know. I feel the same way, except that I'm so used to being good and doing everything right. But server space right now? Yeah. Got other things to do. (I just get scared about server space.)

I know you're miserable about me. You're worried as hell, um, about my finances but more about my emotional state and you wish I'd go home and get something to eat and reconnect with you there (yes, I know I rewrote that phrase). Okay. Time check. 12:15 AM Eastern. Lab closes at 2 AM. I'm just grateful. And for your information, tomorrow night they start putting cookies and brownies out at midnight in Highsmith and I can go swipe some. (I know. I reserve the right to use my own words on this side of the page.)

How was that quote I borrowed from you? That was okay? Good. Good. I was terrified. I didn't want you to be spotted. It's so funny.

You're so blunt sometimes I'm not sure how to deal with you, and, what, I'm so romantic and delicate sometimes you don't know how to handle me? I think it's because we haven't dealt with real masculinity and femininity before. That's been puzzling me too. Apparently we'll get used to it.

I love you. What, I'm worse than Katia? Oh my....

Pushy. Delicate. Pushy. Delicate. My. We get into the names, don't we?

Apparently this is good for us. Just to talk. Apparently you like "vocal" better, what was that, harassing me on the page? I prefer written better and it helps me focus.

Jeffrey. We need to talk about Jeffrey.

Obviously you do not like him. Or even the memory of him. I could swear, unless things have changed, he has gone on and has lost all memory of me. From what I have picked up, all this "projection" has just been from when he was alive and coming up and hassling me in the future.

Pop him in the nose. You guys settle things your own way. I can't handle things between you and him. He says he knows you're there and he wonders why, since we promised forever to each other. I don't understand that.

Why can't I control my own emotions? Good. You're getting something to eat. And you'll never be fat, dear. Not with your metabolism.

Lord, you strong psychic men....

Apparently that's it for some reason....

Will it help if I go look for more pictures? Oh honey, don't cry....

No. Stay put here. I am not having you reacting like that. Stay PUT! Thank you.

You'll just open the door again....I'm staying put until you're not having that reaction any more.

Okay, maybe we should give it a rest. You're lonely, and you handle loneliness better in other ways. I need to breathe too. This has been a strong session.

Bye. (Good. You're okay.)

Don't argue with me. We need you.

Tell me next time. Three days? You are important.

You are under orders right now. You say they're coming back by 2 AM Eastern?

You are getting three people. Not two. Three people. At least one of them is staying with you all night.

Please. Get some food and some fruit juice into yourself.

I love you.

Keep reading. Book you've got or something. Keep reading.

The site? Okay.

Just hang on. I am available until 2 AM at least through Thursday night.

We have got to get me a computer. I am not risking you like this, Todd.

No. You are not leaving.

No. No. No.

All right. Elizabeth. Tara. Your choice who else. They're good monitors.

A good solid sandwich. Get them to bring it in. I'm not sure I trust you anywhere else. (hello.)

Is he okay? Hang on to him. Do not let him go until what, 6 AM? Good.

Read to him. Do something. It's something text-based. I cannot be sure what. Maybe the site, maybe a book...good. You know what it is.

make him keep eating. It helps him. And my God, he's got room in that costume...

Is there a way...no. Okay. He has to keep skating.

Somebody watch him skate tomorrow night. (I'm in Asheville. Things worked out. No, no money or whatever yet...looking at two disconnect notices and avoiding the landlord right now...not good. Let's just say that. I have food, but if the gas is off, I can't cook. I know I'll be okay. But right now it's difficult. I have a home to go back to. I have food for tonight if the gas is still on.)

Just let him cry. He's not used to it.

I'm going home right now. I'm not leaving him like this, and I think he needs me more on "live connect" than he does on the Net. I've done all I can tonight. I'm going to start walking in a minute and it takes me about a half hour. Walking is not good connect time. He knows this. Good.

Just hang on to him.

He is capable of using anything that looks useful to do it. He has tried this several times before. We've gotten him to people. Didn't work. just hang on to him...I'm leaving.

THANKS!!! BLESS YOU!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! Tons. Everything is like so overdue, you get the picture. Massive, never been like this before. I had to. Thanks. I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!